Standing in our own way

I had that meeting. I was on a spot. The stakes were high. I really wanted to do my best. I worked hard to prepare for that moment. It was supposed to be perfect. But then something happened. I lost my confidence. I wanted to disappear, run away, and turn invisible. I felt like I was standing in my own way. My heart started to beat faster. My voice was blocked in my throat. I was trying to find the words that normally come naturally. And at that moment the words just didn’t feel right somehow. Different thoughts that didn’t help chased one after another. Thoughts like “Geez, there are so many eyes looking at me. They see everything. Any moment I lose the track…“, or “It is getting really bad. I just want to be over, good, or bad!”. The energy that makes the real me was gone. I felt shame. And instead of giving myself a bit of encouragement at that moment when I needed it most, I was hard on myself. 

How do you handle those moments when you are stuck and caught up in the midst of thoughts that don’t serve you? When the feeling of shame comes? To me, it all starts with taking a deep breath. Paying attention to what is unfolding at the moment. Observing my inner voice pulling me away from “here and now”. Telling the voice, “Ok thank you, I have been there, and I am not going to follow you now“. Eventually, reminding myself my purpose. To bring myself back to the present moment. 

Think of those moments when you wanted to be at your best and then something happened. What kept you away from the real you? And when that happens again, how can you get back on track?